Monday, 30 June 2014

Life Outside

While we wait patiently (very, very bloody  patiently) for Allie to heal and stop having complications (after the bleeding nose, this week we have a poor appetite and possible cold! Yay) I bring to you:

Life Outside Odontoma Land

1) I got my uni results for the first term back. I got a distinction in Chemistry and a credit in Intro to Equine Science. I'm so chuffed with the chem result!! It is SO HARD! Next semester: Animal Anatomy and Physiology. :)

2) Andrew and I moved into our new house over the weekend! It is a little terrace place with a tiny backyard but 4 huge bedrooms, 3 balconies and 2.5 bathrooms. It is MUCH NICER than living in the box that is my mother's garage. We were there for 15 months and let me tell you, it was NOT FUN. However, it is 20 minutes away from Allie instead of 5. :(

3) My new job (same company though) is going well. My new team are all animal people so I am getting a lot of understanding from them about the whole Allie thing what with regular vet visits and stress and crying at work in the bathroom etc etc. I don't know how I would have been able to do it all with my last boss (who I did generally love working for) as he often said when I had to take Allie to the vet: "can't you schedule these things outside of work hours? I would understand if it were a child, but it's just a horse" BOO HISS.

4) I'm back trimming a very tiny amount of horses. Just a couple of case studies and some owner trimmer lessons at this stage.

That is about it really.

Friday, 27 June 2014

Oh, So You Thought You Were Healing?

Guess what I am doing right now? I'm waiting for the vet to call me while I watch Allie and missing work because she had a bleeding nose this morning. UGH.

After coming home she was actually doing quite well but this morning I came out to feed her before work and there was a trickle of blood coming from high up in her nostril. Obviously from the surgery site.

It seems to have stopped for now but FAR OUT I AM SO OVER THIS SHIT. Horse just heal already! I can't deal with much more. :(

Friday, 20 June 2014

Coming Home

Cross post from Facebook. Totally sums it up for me.

Tuesday, 17 June 2014

Good News

Some good news for now. Christine is very pleased with Allie's progress over the weekend, so no surgery for today, not yet anyway. I know, I'm in shock too, after that photo I posted.

Apparently the smell has gone away (meaning tooth maybe isn't dying yet) and there is very little food being flushed when they flush her out. When I mentioned how she was on Saturday, Christine wasn't surprised and it didn't change her assessment. She said the hole between mouth and sinus now seems to be closing rapidly and they aren't going to flush her for a few days to see how she goes. Basically, Allie isn't suffering right now, things seem to be improving so we are leaving her some time for nature to take it's course to see if the hole will close by itself. She doesn't want to go to surgery only to think "gosh this looks like it would heal in a short period of time by itself". May as well see if things continue improving.

And that, my beautiful supportive readers, is a mini victory for today that I am relishing in. I know things may go pear shaped again in the future but this is the best news we have had in weeks. My pony may not need a second surgery after all. Keep everything crossed for her (like I know you already have been).

Sunday, 15 June 2014

Gross Photos

I went to visit Allie yesterday. She sees pretty happy. She hasn't lost any weight (yay) but because she is living in a small yard her legs have blown up. They looked like tree trunks.

I took her for a walk and let her graze. As she was chewing, the masticated grass was squeezing through from her mouth, into her sinus and then squelching out through the hole in her face. It was disgusting. I've attached a photo at the bottom if you want to see.

She was happy though. She has some horses out in the yards next to her (a very handsome Clydesdale and a cute old chestnut thoroughbred looking thing) and apparently she is eating fine.

Friday, 13 June 2014


The hole won't close. The tooth is front is dying.

She goes in for another surgery on Tuesday.

I'm devastated all over again.

Wednesday, 11 June 2014


A friend of mine lost her beautiful young mare on Sunday. She broke her leg in the paddock. She was only 6 or 7 years old I think, the grey mare was still quite dark with dapples.

What I have been dreading, what I have been terrified of, has just happened to my wonderful friend. Life is unfair, horses are unfair, I am so sad and angry and and and... I do not know what. But this should never have happened to her. To them. Why? Why did this even happen at all? She didn't deserve this. She takes meticulous care of her horses. How do you even prevent an injuy like that?

Go and hug your ponies. Ride them. Love them. Watch them for hours, kiss their soft velvety noses. Do not leave even one day wasted. If you are feeling lazy or there is a drizzle of rain or your bed is extra warm and comfy, I do not care. Get your arse to the paddock and ride your horse, for the rest of us who can not.

Get out there and pursue your dreams with your ponies because they could be gone just like that.

Still Not There

It is Wednesday morning. Allie is still in the hospital and will have at least 2 more days in there. They ended up putting more pack in while she was under standing sedation as when they were flushing yesterday there was no pus but there was still some freshly masticated hay and feed getting through to the sinus. Today, there was no food in the sinus but there was a small amount of green fluid that had squeezed through, which ran clear very quickly.

Christine says the new pack is not doing as well as she had hoped but better than she had feared. We are at the point where we need to just buy a little time to see if this will settle down before making a decision to go back to surgery in the next week to close everything up. Obviously surgery is something we don't want to have to do monetary for me or physically for her, but we need to do what we need to do.

Apparently she is very happy. She is behaving beautifully, they don't even need to sedate her for flushing, she just stands there!! They are poking the tube through the small hole they cut in her face to flush so it is not like she is having a grand old holiday at the vets but I am so so glad that she is eating and behaving and just being the pleasure that she truly is.

Love love love that horse.

Monday, 9 June 2014

Skip This One

Don't read this. It's a pity party, but I've got to get my feelings out.

I've been reading blogs, scrolling through Facebook and I've been out trimming a little again. It is depressing, with my mare still in the vets (it is Monday evening here, so tonight is night 4 for her) reading and watching and seeing everyone doing stuff with their ponies.

I am terrified again that things have gone too far. The vet is calling me tomorrow morning and I hope to God she has some good news for Allie. For me.

When I first got her, I had all these dreams about eventing her. We have been out to four dressage comps and that is it. We got off track a bit when I was trimming like mad but we were just about to start jumping (finally) when she hurt her leg. That was September last year and as you know we haven't done anything much since.

Now I don't even know if she will be here this time next year, what with this current hole STILL not healing and allowing food to get through to the sinus and these teeth potentially having to come out and leave an even bigger gap. Is it fair to keep her going like this if eventual healing is possible or am I being selfish now? I guess Christine promised to guide me on that and she hasn't mentioned anything about it as yet.

I just have to trust the fact that I am spending big bucks to have the very best vet treatment and that is all I can do.

But it just isn't fair. Nor for Allie, not for me. I have always strived to be the very best owner to my horses (and all my pets) to the best if my ability. I always put them first, I never sell my horses, I get up super early to take care of her each morning before work and again after work each day. I'm bloody angry (normally I swear like a sailor but I try to keep my blog PG but I feel like dropping the f bomb multiple times). Why my horse? Why my sweet mare? Why me? I see all these horses who have owners who don't bother even getting them proper hoof care and they can still get around low level events and I do EVERYTHING IN MY POWER to get there and I just can't
I can't even have a normal healthy horse who I can ride on the weekends on the trail.

This is a really really long process and I'm jack of it.

Saturday, 7 June 2014


Vet called this morning. She was flushed again. Christine said she was very glad that they kept her for the weekend because there was quite a bit of purulent material that was flushed out this morning.

So they are flushing again tomorrow and on Monday too. My poor horse. I can only hope that on Monday things look nice and clean and she can come home to me and that hole closes up and those teeth stay put.

Please please please let this be her future. She doesn't deserve any of this. It is like being on a roller coaster, except it is not me on it, it's her and I can't find anyone to stop it to get her off so I just stand by and every time the carriage comes past I just shout to her to hold on.

That is a ridiculous analogy. Could you imagine a horse on a roller coaster? But anyway.

Friday, 6 June 2014

Do I title ths one 'Poor Allie"? Because that is all I can thnk right now...

Gosh, where do I start.

Over the last few days, Allie's lump hasn't gone away but her nasal discharge has increrased and so has the bad smell. This morning I hauled her over to the vets for Christine to check her.

Never ending vet visits wear us out.

First up was a radiograph. The teeth don't look good. Both the tooth behind and the tooth in front look unusual. We still don't know if they will die and need to be removed or if they will live and be fine.Time will only tell. Basically, if they do have to come out,  the two teeth plus the tumour leaves a big gap to try to encourage to close. It would mean surgery, lots of flushing, $$$$$. We do not want to go down that path if we don't have to. It is quite serious (serious-er?) if she needs those teeth removed.

After the rads, she had a scan done over the area to see what was causing the lump. Infection, possibly from a small piece of bone that had lost blood supply and died we think, or maybe the teeth are the insidious cause of it all. She then had an oral exam which looked good, however Christine could feel that tooth in front has a small depression that may be a sign that the tooth may die.

After the oral exam, Christine ended up having to cut a small hole with a scalpel and then inserted one of her surgery tools to make the hole bigger inside to get through to the sinus. She then spent about 20 minutes pulling out some of the pack, some sinew, and quite a bit of old food material that is getting in there from the mouth. She went looking for the piece of bone but she doesn't think she got it.

After this, Christine flushed out the sinus/mouth with two bags of saline and then squirted aqueous penicillin in over the area. There was blood, stinky food and snot everywhere.

Poor Allie. She got pain relief and had been sedated but she was so damn good about the whole process. That experience must have been terrifying and even under sedation she did lift her head high a coupke of timez and looked very worried in her eye but she held it together. She is amazing. Just a superstar.

Christine wanted me to leave her there over the weekend so that they can flush her on Saturday and again on Sunday. Hit it hard. Hopefully by flushng and keeping it clean, the small hole that is allowing passage of food will be able to close over and her sinus can finally dry up and hopefully those teeth hang on and decide they aren't going to keel over and quit this life for good. So I left her at the clinic, because emotionally right now I am rubbish and I need to know that I have done everything possible to give this horse the best chance of recovery. What else can I do?

One of the other vets was discussing the case with me and she said that Allie is very very lucky to have me and Christine/Derek (the other surgeon). "Not many owners would do what you have done, and not many surgeons would have attempted that surgery at all" were her words. That really brought home the seriousness, the gravity of the situation for Allie. Emotionally, I am not good today. I have taken the day off work to just lay in bed and chill out. I have my first uni exam next week and I hve picked up a cold too. So today is for me I have decided.

This has been a depressing post. Sorry guys.

Tuesday, 3 June 2014


Random lumps out the side if your face are NOT what I wanted to see this morning Allie.

Gah. Christine wants me to bring her in for a check up early. Was going to be in a couple of weeks but obviously something has changed.

No heat, she is still eating and is happy for me to touch it. Hopefully of it is the pack, it is ready to come out and the hole has healed over.

Off to the vet tomorrow me thinks.