Sunday, 16 September 2018


3.5 weeks off antibiotics so far. Both my sister and I check her each day, sniffing her nostril and mouth checking for any signs of infection.

I keep thinking I can smell a tiny hint of it, but I am never sure and the next day it is gone again.

My sister says she never smells anything and it is my head playing tricks on me because I am so emotionally invested.

So, we both agree that she is doing good for now. Still in a holding pattern. If she gets to the 25th Sept, that's the vet's official time to go ahead and start treating her like a normal ridden horse again and to continue to keep an eye on her.

Meanwhile, I have ordered hexarinse (oral medicated rinse) and a drench gun to treat her mouth each day. I am also borrowing a gag from my kind friend Casey who used to own a horse with major dental issues too - just to see if it will work out for me to remove any trapped feed in there. If I can make that work, then I will get one of my own to use.

Hopefully this keeps infection at bay for long enough that either the tooth can be removed safely or it doesn't need to be removed at all.

I am also still waiting on that second opinion from the other dental surgeon vet who is a bit hard to get a hold of. He has been waiting on me to get her history from my current vets to send to him, and they took  a long time sending it to me (after repeated phone calls and emails). Last week I got it and sent it on to the second opinion vet. I have heard that he is coming to Sydney next month so I am hopping to jump in on that visit if I can at all, even if it is just for intraoral rads and his opinion.

In other news, I have been to try a few horses - even if Allie gets through this, her track record shows that she really isn't suitable as a serious competition mount. So I have been to test ride a few horses and, well, they aren't like her at all! I just want her clone really, but like, sound lol.

Anyway. I'll let you guys know how the hexarinse works out for us!

Thursday, 23 August 2018

Holding Steady

So Allie has been off antibiotics for a few days now. No sign, yet, of any infection returning.

The root canal stuff is probably not an appropriate treatment for her because of the state of the tooth. I am still waiting on my current vet clinic to send me her full history to send to the dental specialist for a second opinion.

We are just hanging out in a holding pattern, for now.

Wednesday, 8 August 2018

Orthograde endodontic?

That's a fkd up mouth right there...

So earlier tonight I was aimlessly googling "what are the chances of saving an equine cheek tooth with antibiotics?" (answer - not bloody likely) when I came across an interesting paper.

Very interesting.

In summary, when there is an infected tooth, the only two options I've been told about are removal or antibiotics. This paper states that there is another option - a root canal type procedure, removing all the infected pulp and nerve, then plugging the hole with tooth like material that the opposing tooth can wear on.

WHY HAS NO ONE MENTIONED THIS TO ME BEFORE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!.,w ef';lihwfq]w0
fh130rhAA LKD

Ahem sorry.

So, like, is this an option for poor Allie's tooth? I don't know. It would take a super steady hand to preserve enough tooth enamel in this situation I think. But, like, what if?

Tuesday, 7 August 2018


Allie has been on the "nastier" antibiotics for a week and a half now. Within 24 hours of the first dose, her nose stopped smelling and the discharge cleared up. We have a week and a half to go.

The poor thing isn't eating her feeds now, though. It can be a side effects of the Metronidazole, or it could be ulcers, who knows. She's still eating hay at least. She's hating being pasted twice a day, absolutely hating it.

I got her out to give her a brush the other day, and she thoroughly enjoyed it. It's been years since she's had a winter coat to lose, because I normally clip her. It was nice to just get my hands on her for a while.
Last night I had to head out to feed after dark. When I got there, she was laying down, sternal, having a snooze. I walked up to her to say hello and she didn't get up. I sat down next to her and she wuffled in my face and pointed to the spots she wanted me to scratch. I ended up snuggling into her side, quietly crying, for about 15 minutes. Just being with her. She was loving the attention. She kept taking big long deep sniffs of me, her chest pushing me up and away, then gently dropping me back again. She particularly wanted scratches on the scar on her face, and her left knee, weirdly. It was a beautiful beautiful moment.

This morning I brought her into Dad's backyard (she's staying at dad's at the moment, with Gracie) as that's the only place with any green pick because his waste water is sprinkled there. As I let her grab mouthfuls of the good stuff, I noticed a big healthy patch of clover.

Now, some of you know but most don't, my super power is that I find four leaf clovers. Like, not just the occasional one here or there, but heaps of them. Point at any clover patch, and I'll find you 5 four leaf clovers within 5 minutes, no problems.

Ok, so with that knowledge, I saw myself making a deal with fate, that I felt was in my favour. "If I find a four leaf clover, then she will survive this". So I started sorting through the clover, trying to find my hope. One minute went past. 3 minutes. 5 minutes. 10 minutes. 25 minutes later and still, nothing. I ended up "cheating", removing all the three leaf clovers from the patch, one by one, madly trying to find one, desperately freaking out because this has never happened to me before. I had to give up because dad's wastewater sprinkler started up and then Allie freaked out, then Evie started calling from the car. I had to give up.
"It's just a stupid made up deal anyway, it doesn't mean anything".
It played on my mind all day. I like to pretend I'm all sciencey and don't believe in bullshit hocus pocus but really I'm a superstitious person.
Returning home this afternoon, I gout out of the car and something fell out of my car onto the grass. As I picked it up, I saw it: the world's smallest, mankiest four leaf clover.
Squatting down, I picked it and started to cry again.

"Everything is going to be ok"

Tuesday, 19 June 2018


Haven't written here in ages because, well, haven't been doing much riding.

Anyway, there's more vet dramas with this damn horse. She's actually trying her very best to die. Seriously.

So, back in May I had to have surgery to have my tonsils removed. While I was incapacitated, she developed a stinky snotty nose. As soon as I was well enough to drive I went past the vet clinic and got some antibiotics. Three weeks later and the nose finally settled after 3 tubs of sulprim.

Phew, I thought.

A few days later, the snotty nose returned, worse than before. I dragged her into the clinic where we took some rads. Turns out she had a massive infection due to 209 and 210 shifting too close together, food packing, and creating an infection behind. They quoted me $1500 to remove 209 which looked quite bad, and we hoped that would control the infection and that 210 and 211 would settle down after that.

So we removed 209, it went fairly well. She was a bit miserable for about a week but perked up and started eating feed again. The vets placed a port in her forehead so I could flush the sinus with a litre of saline each day for 2 weeks to help clear the infection.

Had checkups at 1 and 2 weeks and the tooth removal hole was healing well. But the nasal discharge was still there, although only slightly. At the second checkup we took MORE rads (yes, my bill is about $3500 at this point) and the bloody 210 looks infected still. We discussed removal and my surgeon has said it's a poor prognosis of they try to remove that tooth. The only option we have at this stage is to try to save the tooth with antibiotics.

So, she's been on antibiotics on and off since May, and is currently finishing another weeks worth of sulprim before we move onto something nastier. There is still a slight discharge and smell. I've sent her most recent rads off to a different dental surgeon for a second opinion although it doesn't look good. Apparently there might not be enough bone left in her skull in that area, and pulling the 210 will probably lead to a fistula that won't close and permanent communication between the mouth and the sinus, obviously leading to I fection after infection and it's not humane to let a horse live like that.

So, if this second dentist doesn't think he can get a good outcome with removal, and if the antibiotics don't save the tooth, then I'll have to euthanise my beautiful 12 year old barely competed one season of eventing heart horse mare.

I haven't been blogging about it because it's been a long drawn out saga and I'm feeling super shit about it. I'm contemplating getting a second horse now, and I had the money, but I've spent almost all of it on this vet bill and a vet bill for our rescue kitten because he got frigging pneumonia and tried to die on us. And I had the money just sitting g there, and I couldn't say "nah just put him to sleep I can't afford 60 hours of intensive care in an O2 tank" because I COULD afford it. And he seems like he's pulled through and is fine now. But finally life is kicking me in the guts right now and I'm trying so so hard to keep positive and motivated (I've quit my office job and am doing hooves full time now, back at uni, going to the gym, trying to be the best me I can be). Anyway now I'm rambling and this is a shit post.

I'll leave it there.

Friday, 3 November 2017

Silver Hills ODE October 2017 - Show Jumping and final thoughts

There was a nice big 3 hour gap between cross country and showjumping, thankfully, so Allie and I got to have a nice long rest.

They were running 45 minutes late with the course walk, and so after I walked it we scooted back to the float to tack up and get ready.

I shouldn't have bothered rushing because the warm up was a shambles. Nearly 70 riders all wanting to get their showjumping done so they could pack up and go home, the gate steward was the same as last year, the guy who didn't get my number down three times and made me wait long time. Surprise, same thing happened this year! I was number 57. He told me to go after 45, and I kept my eye on her. She went in, and he told 67 to go in after her even though I had been waiting so long! I literally sat on Allie in the heat for over an hour. It was bullshit.

Anyway, finally I just pushed in and was polite but firm stating I had to go pick up my 2 year old and could I please go in, as I had been waiting for so long (the issues with riding a boring bay horse, I suppose, is that no one remembers you). So finally, in I went. Linda warmed me up again, basically just getting me to ride the shoulders, keep sitting tall, get the canter right and just let the jump come to us.

We had one rail down which was my fault as I didn't get my line right and we jumped it on an angle. But other than that, I was happy with the ride. We did it well within time (she's getting much faster!) but were controlled 99% of the time, she jumped confidently, and y ankles managed to do their job for that minute and a half so we were good.

Overall, we finished 19th out of 32, on a score of 78. I felt really positive about the dressage, awful about my riding in the cross country but proud of my mare for looking after me, and felt happy with the showjumping both her and my riding, considering how bloody tired we both were.

Take aways for next time? Wrap my ankles, be fitter and stronger. Weigh less (I really am a bit too heavy for her), and just be there for her 100% - leg on, leg on, leg on (and SIT UP)!

I'm really looking forward to competing next year, if we can make it work. She really is a pleasure to take showing, easy to float, chills out tied up, eats, drinks (a little bit once she's super thirsty), is calm and not very spooky at all. I have an amazing group of friends and supporters who came to help and watch and coach, who I could not ave done this without. I have no idea how people go eventing alone.

Anyway, that's it! Our one and only comp of the year, done and dusted.


Thursday, 2 November 2017

Silver Hills ODE October 2017 - Cross Country

I had bugger all sleep on Saturday night. My cross country was at 10.17am so I could have slept in a little but I ended up waking up at 5am anyway, and show nerves kicked in, blast them.

I was so tired, but Allie was a little pooped so I knew I had to warm her up in front of my leg and wake her up a bit - while waiting to go into the warm up she was almost falling asleep with a hind leg resting while the 95cm cross country was running literally right in front of us. Poor mare, we weren't really fit enough to be eventing, but luckily it's a short course, optimum time was 3 min 45 sec.

The warm up at Silver Hills is weird. It's a long straight line with two likes of jumps with space in the middle to ride up the far end, then you turn around, gallop back over fences, then try not to gallop straight over the gate steward. The right hand side is the smaller warm up jumps and the left is the larger. This year, we actually jumped the larger warm up jumps, two of which are a good 95cm! She certainly woke up after that, haha.

It was the same course as last year, and I knew we could jump everything in it. After the water (obstacle 3), my ankles, especially my right, started to feel very damn weak. I could barely get up off her back to let her gallop, they were that bad. I never lost my stirrups though, thanks to my fancy new Freejumps, but honestly I thought I wasn't going to make it around, I was riding that poorly.

We came to the downhill ski jump, which I wasn't worried about, except I couldn't actually get my leg on her and sit up, so she stopped. I was so cranky with myself, and she hadn't got her mojo on yet by that point. We quickly circled and she flew over it the second time with a few whacks of the whip, and then she just kinda took over - we have run this cross country course about 4 times now, and she just took a sharp turn to the next jump almost by herself, the funny girl. I even said out loud "you know where you are going, don't you?".

The rest of the jumps, she absolutely flew over. She was a total packer and she really really looked after me. She galloped so fast that even with the stop, we were 1 second below optimum time! We have never been under optimum time! I was bloody stoked with that.

The last three logs I was just hanging on wishing it were all over. My ankles and lower legs were in agony, and I was not enjoying it, which sucked big time. She galloped over the finish line and I pulled her up and took my feet out of the stirrups and let them dangle. I have no idea why they were so bad, but my body really let me down. I probably should have jumped in the two weeks leading up to the show, I guess.

You have seen us jump this before. She's not wasting energy over this anymore!

Pathetic little brush jump. It looks so sad, haha.

The stupid ski jump. It looks so tiny with all the long grass.

I love the way this jumps. There's a dip on the landing side and I like the way the horse drops into it.

Look at this saint of a mare! This is the scary trakehner with the rather deep ditch in front. She launched herself over it and really looked after me because I was useless by this stage.

So we had 20 jump faults, no time faults, and we were in 20th place. Next up, showjumping! Will my ankles give way? Or will my stupid limbs stand up to the challenge?