Wednesday, 2 November 2011

When a Light Goes Out



Sad news - yesterday my beautiful Chakra was not doing well. She seemed to have trouble breathing and kept coughing. She got progressively worse and I ended up taking her to the vet at about 9.30 and had her put to sleep.
It was very peaceful - After eating all the vet's liver treats and getting kisses and cuddles from us all, she seemed a little scared but I was on the ground with her and I turned her head so she would look only at me while the vet gave the drugs to her via a drip. The sedative made her slowly lay down and I spoke to her and held her gaze while the green dream was given.
Then her light just went out.
I already miss her like crazy and had a hard night last night. Andrew was amazing - I was crying and couldn't get to sleep and he started asking me questions and telling me stories about Allie (I had ridden her that day, and he had his first proper ride on her cooling her down for me! So cute) and he distracted me enough that I was able to slip into a dreamless sleep.
My cat Evan also snuggled up to me all night long, without trying to hog the bed or claw at me. He felt my sadness I think and was helping me in his little cat way.
I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and has been replaced by a hole in my heart, a space she used to fill and is now missing her. I have been thinking hard about having her PTS the last week, but it doesn't make it any easier.
You must all go hug your puppies, ponies, kitties, piggies, mousies, birdies, and what-ever-elsies that have your heart and hold them tight to your chest for me, because they won't be there forever and even 1000 years would still be too soon to say goodbye.

8 comments:

Barbara said...

So sorry. It is so hard to let them go.

Ashleigh said...

I'm so sorry Lisa. This is always hard. They say time heals all wounds, but what are we supposed to do until that time finally comes? It doesn't make it hurt any less. You did the right thing, even though it was hard.
***Internet hugs from Pirate, Josh and I***
Take solace in the fact that she went peacefully and she had you in her life- someone who loved her, which is something some animals are never lucky enough to get. It's always too soon for them to go, isn't it? I guess outliving them, having to live most of our lives with only the memories of them, is the price we pay for having such pure, unadulterated love and devotion in our lives.

Natalie said...

I see death in a whole new light now. After witnessing a very peaceful and calm passing. Death doesn't care for the people left behind. It only cares for it's passengers. I imagine it has beautiful long white fluffy fern like fingers that quietly and gently grasp the soul and carry it carefully to it's heaven.  And heaven is what you make it. So I'm imagining Chakra eating all the food she can, she has all of her teeth back and she has all of her coat back. She'll be running around up there *skip! Step step, skip!* and Jasper and Honey will be up there with her. And I imagine her soul floating around following you, making sure you are happy and life is ok for you. My heart hurts because it misses her already, and I know yours does too, but just imagine how unbelievably happy she is and it will make you feel better. Love you Lese <3 

Dom said...

I am so very, very sorry :(

Kelly said...

Oh Lisa - I am so sorry to hear about Chakra. You sent such kind heartfelt comments to Lex and myself when we lost Hennessy. I felt your sympathy thru your words.

Sending love your way. Life is way too short.

Funder said...

::hugs::

There is absolutely nothing more heartbreaking than losing a dog. You did the right thing for her! I gave Cers some snuggles just now. :)

jill said...

SO sorry. It's a very difficult thing.

Ruffles said...

awww... R.I.P.