I dropped her off at the vets tonight. She is having a sleepover and then tomorrow she is getting a check up. I chose to have her seen tomorrow because this morning she had a gunky nostril and my vet is going away next week and the week after that I'm going away so I didn't want to leave it two weeks in case she needs treatment.
Hopefully all goes well. She seems to be coping well so I really hope the news I hear reflects that.
Here's a Facebook chat session I had with a client/friend yesterday. Really sums up my mental state and the situation right now.
Friend: How's Allie?
Me: She is good today. Each day, on my drive out there, I hope for three things: that she ate all of her previous feed, that her nostril doesn't have any discharge (or only a small amount), and most of all, that her nostril doesn't smell. Because a smelly nostril = infection in the sinus which means drama drama and vet visits.
Friend: Ok yep... It must be so hard for you :(
Me: It is :( The last few days, she has scored 3/3 morning and night. So I am happy for now. But I am so mentally tired of it all. I have to keep reminding myself that she isn't in any pain right now and is actually living a pretty sweet life on holidays.
Friend: Yeah it would be so hard. Very easy for the light at the end of the tunnel to dim out. The fact that her quality of life is great and she isn't in pain is wonderful. But it doesn't eliminate the "ifs" and "buts" and the anticipation of not knowing what to expect everytime you see her.
Me: Exactly!! That's exactly how I feel!!!
Friend: Can they give you any kind of timeframe?
Me: Nope. We need to wait to see if her teeth die or not. Hopefully her lastest complication (the pack moving, how she stayed in the hospital to have it flushed every day for two weeks) is over and done with. She was chewing grass and it was going from her mouth, into her sinus and then out the hole in the side of her face they had open for flushing.
Friend: Gross! But so interesting at the same time lol. What happens if they die? Is there an idea of how much of a chance there is for them to die?
Gosh.. She's not had a smooth run at the moment has she! You're doing well considering.
Me: If they die they need to come out. That's bad news because we have had a hell of a time getting the original hole to close up and removing a tooth/teeth will leave a bigger hole to try to close. We don't want to go down that path. Tooth removal means another surgery too because of the way the teeth erupted due to the tumor.
Friend: :( oh jeez. That's not good.
Me: But she seems to be holding up for now. Hasn't been on antibiotics for a couple of weeks (nearly 3 actually) and she seems like she doesn't have any food going through anymore so hopefully that means that the hole is closed with soft tissue (finally). Her second pack that they put in while she was in hospital last time to try to close the hole has moved too, she has a big lump out her cheek. She looks like a chipmunk hoarding a nut in her cheek. I tried to shift it but she doesn't like the feeling of it being loose and she will cross her jaw and yawn to get it back in place, like when they get a piece of carrot stuck on the outside of their molars.
Friend: Oh yep yep, I know what you mean.
Me: So I'm leaving it alone until her next check up. Hopefully the packs can come out, xrays show the teeth aren't dying, and she can have the rest of her wave mouth floated down and she can come back to me and wait another 6 weeks until her next checkup.
Friend: Yep, but - you have to be thinking that way :) Because it is ever so possible that, that will be what happens :)
Me: Gosh I hope so.