Nerves

Allie has been doing well lately. I've only been able to ride her once or twice a week but those rides have been good. She's due some body work and her teeth (both booked in for the next few weeks) so she's a little wonky but still trying hard as per usual. It's been generally wet so the dust levels are low and her coughing is non-existent, so yay for that. She's jumping amazingly, her dressage is going well. I need to take her out for some dressage lessons, I need more direction there. Jumping too I guess.

She's plenty fit enough to do a dressage day so yesterday I started looking at when I could take her out for a prelim test or two. I immediately got nervous for no bloody reason and ended up shutting the browser down. Like, seriously, we can handle a little prelim test. But apparently I'm traumatised and just can't not stress about it.

Bah.

I'll try again in a few days.

In other news, I offered Allie up for part lease again and a girl came and tried her yesterday. I need help keeping her in full work so she's fit for eventing and a part lease with the right rider really is the answer. She went well, wasn't scared or worried about Allie but is happy to have a string of lessons with me so she undershot to ride Allie and the direction we are going. She's coming again tomorrow morning for another ride/lesson, so hopefully she goes well. She seemed to really like Allie yesterday. :)

I'll leave you with a throwback to Silver Hills hunter trial, just when her coughing issues were starting. Poor mare.

The Horses Hoof

A while ago (back in February I think) I entered a photo of Allie into a cover photo competition for the U.S magazine The Horses Hoof. It's a barefoot mag and they were after photos of barefoot horses doing their thing. I wrote a little blurb about why I thought Allie should be a cover model with her story about her complex odontoma and our struggle to get competing.

She didn't win the comp but did get an honorable mention.

However, the magazine editor contacted me because she loved Allies story and wanted to do a full article about her! So I provided pictures and I wrote up an article for the magazine and it is about to be published on the 1st July. I've been keeping it a bit of a secret in case it all fell through.

If you don't have a subscription but would love to have a read of the article, send me an email to lisa@theglorioushoof.com.au and I'll email you a copy.

I'm very excited that she's being featured in a magazine, she's such a great horse and we have overcome so much (with still more to overcome of course, with her latest breathing issues).

Hopefully I can get her fit and healthy enough again to get out to one more comp this year. Fingers crossed!

Secrets and Guilt

I've got a little secret. It's not revolutionary or juicy or anything. But it surprised me.

When Allie had her most recent bought of coughing and I had to leave her and not ride for a few weeks I was disappointed, yes, but mostly I was relieved. I had been scrambling to get her worked for so long and my stress levels were starting to reach threshold, with interstate and overseas trips and final exams coming up. Dropping the stress of trying to get her worked most days (and trying to get her fit enough to compete) when I was battling time constraints and the weather really took the pressure off and suddenly I could handle everything else just fine. When I scratched from Mudgee I was disappointed but again, incredibly relieved.

I have always been a super busy person. If there is a spare gap in my life I always fill it with some sort of commitment. At the moment I work in an office two days a week, trim another couple of days a week, I have 10-12 hours of uni each week (but am on holidays at the moment, yay!), I'm selling hoof boots, and of course, trying to be a good mum to Evie, playing with her, teaching her things, trying not to drag her around in the car too much (always too much). Plus, I should be riding and having lessons and working on my riding. But I'm not.

Allie seems to be better at the moment and I have had a couple of rides on her lately where she has been a dream to ride and only coughed a little once or twice, but I haven't put her back in work yet. What if she starts coughing again? What if she doesn't cope with the work? What if I get all stressed out again and don't enjoy riding her (that never happens, I always enjoy the actual riding part, just not the stress of finding the time). Also, we have had flooding from extensive rain in our area and the footing is rubbish at the moment so we are waiting for that to dry out. So she hasn't had much work at all.

This is a bit of a pointless post really. I have put Evie into day care for a second day each week so I can trim/ride/lesson/study on Mondays without having to try to drag her along (also, she wasn't dealing well at day care only going one day a week and needed more consistency there. It's worked a charm - no day care drop off tears this week!!). But, of course, I'm feeling guilty about that too.

I did the yearly budget recently and nearly died when I saw that Allie is the second biggest cost after our mortgage. Just normal agistment, feed, basic regular vet/dental, a few shows and memberships cost us over $11,000 a year.

Holy crap. And, again, guilt guilt guilt. Look at how much money we would save if I didn't have a horse! What an amazing family holiday we could take each year. Or shorten the length of our mortgage significantly. And Andrew doesn't spend that much on his race car (unless he breaks something). Plus he doesn't get a day off each week to have a car day, but I can.

Today, I'm not trimming and it's not raining so normally  I would try to go do something with Allie but Evie has a cold an is a bit miserable so it will just be a quick visit to feed ad maybe trot Allie around the property out the car window while Evie naps in her car seat,

How do you guys balance out your lives? I wish I had the horses at home again, it would make it so much easier to do what I need to do.

Little update

Quick update - Allie had a few weeks off as I've been busy and to be honest, I'm really not motivated to ride at all in case she gets worse.

But if I'm ever going to get through this I've got to ride her, so I have ridden the past couple of days. Yesterday we rode out and she didn't cough at all, not once, but it was mostly walk and trot with only a little canter.

Today I schooled in jump tack and she coughed 3 times warming up, but that's it. Riding her felt like a dream (although a VERY FORWARD dream that keeps anticipating) but for a horse who hasn't been in work she rode excellently.

We worked on waiting and not fussing and anticipating but did quite a bit of trot and canter. She even had a few jumps over a little cross rail which she fkn LOVED. I know horse, me too.

Anyway, she gets Wednesday and Thursday off because I'm working at the office and then I'll be back on her Friday and Saturday.

She looks amazing and fat by the way. Will have to get some footage next time.

7 days

Allie has been on the bronchodilator for 7 days as of Friday. Saturday we had some rain so I took the opportunity to ride while all the stupid dust was wet.

Under saddle she felt amazing. Everything was easy, her canter was astounding, transitions were amazing. She was on fire and made me miss riding her so so much. She hasn't felt like that in a long time, I felt like she was at a show she had that much presence and was a little bit wired for sound (in a good way).

As for her coughing, she did cough 5 times. Severity of cough was about a 4. I'm going to ride her again Monday/Tuesday then call the vet on Wednesday to see what she thinks.

I've been wetting down her hay and feed and I've even bought hay cubes to try as they aren't dusty at all. But we have had a stack of back burning going on the last few weeks (in Australia we burn all the bush around residential areas in winter as it is less likely to have a bush fire in summer if it's had a recent burn) and it's been so bloody dry so I'm not surprised at all that she is still coughing. I've started her on three days of 5ml of bute (vet said I could try that too) just to give her the best chance but I really think, for this first bad flare up, that she'll need steroids to calm everything down.

In other news I've been riding a friend's thoroughbred for her while she recovers from falling off and being stepped on (ouch!). His name is Prince and he's also recovering from some pretty awful owners who pretty much just thrashed him around. He's quite weak in the hind quarter and back so has trouble with balance and freaks out a bit when he's asked to do something without leaning very heavily on your hands. But, after just a couple of rides with me being very stern when it comes to being soft to the bridle and NOT leaning on my hands, ever ever ever, and he's doing so much better already. His owner hasn't had her own horse before and is a lovely girl who got him a little over a year ago and has spent this whole time getting him better. Hopefully he just keeps going from strength to strength. She's going to get some lessons from me and probably from Linda too once she's all better. I'm excited to see this horse in such a great home (we've known him for a long time, I used to trim him for an old owner about 5 years ago).

I'll leave you with some Prince schooling photos. He was a very very good boy yesterday. Both horses were. Just if I could get this bloody cough sorted I would love to get Allie to some dressage clinics or comps fairly soon. I'll look at jumping again once she's been in remission for a while. Things are looking a bit better today. :)

RAO

Allie has Recurrent Airway Obstruction or RAO or Heaves or COPD - basically she is having an allergic reaction to something in her environment resulting in inflammation and mucous build up in her airways.

So that's what has been causing her exercise intolerance and the reason why she's been coughing on and off for months.

My theory (and I mentioned this to the vet and she says it's possible) is that allies immune system went from taking a big hit with her surgery and multiple si us infections to being in overdrive (this paired with her itch which is also an allergic reaction make me think this). She got itch initially after she stopped getting recurring sinus infections. It's just never gone away when the itch season ends. And now this.

So treatment is 80% management - trying to reduce or avoid altogether her exposure to allergens. So wetting down feed and hay, no stabling, not riding her in dusty arenas and not riding her with other horses (that stir up dust), not keeping her in the grassy paddock where she keeps flaring up, etc etc. Then medicating when she has a flare up. We are trying to find the meds that work for her - at the moment she's on Clenbuterol which is a bronchodilator. She can have that for up to two weeks and if it works alone then fantastic. It has a two week swab time so to compete I would need to treat any flare ups and get her off it two weeks prior to the event.

If the Clenbuterol doesn't work then she will need to be tried on a series of corticosteroids until we find the one that works. To be honest I would like her to go on steroids to also help her skin initially. But that's not the way the vet wants to treat so I'm following her lead.

The vet says this might be seasonal or it could be a year round thing. We don't know yet. If it's seasonal it's easier to manage because you know when she might get sick and you just medicate during that time and don't compete then.

Other things I'm doing (vet suggested and also from my own research) is upping her omega 3 intake (omega 3 has an anti inflammatory effect) as I think it is out of ratio with omega 6 in her diet right now (she is on sunflower seeds which are high in omega 6 and omega 6 has an inflammatory effect). There's been some research that shows feeding high amounts of linseed can help treat itch conditions due to anti inflammatory properties. So I've added linseed to her diet. I'm also putting her back on a toxin binder for mycotoxins in case that's part of what she's having an allergic reaction to. It won't hurt her adding these and might help.

Long term I'm thinking I need to have a hard look at what exactly my goals are. I'm not getting any younger and we would like to have another child when Evie is about 5 so I've only got a small window where I can get out and compete and really work on my riding before the next big break from riding. But I want to ride Allie, not some other horse. I want to compete Allie. And that might prove very tricky if I need to manage her allergen exposure and medications and all the perfect timing that will entail.

Some of my friends think I should just send her away to spell for a few years and work with a second horse (either buy or lease). My vet says that there are plenty of competition horses being successfully managed and are quite competitive out there, even at the higher levels. My husband thinks I should have given up on Allie by now and sell her on (who the hell would have her? Just the bloody doggers I'm thinking). My sister thinks this is my heart horse and I have the dedication to make this work so to keep trying with Allie for my dream with her.

Right now, I'm a bit emotionally spent (although my cup is rarely full in that department since having a kid. She still wakes 2-3 times a night screaming and needs resettling. She is still on the boob and she is a temper throwing little darling right now who hates being separated from me. I'm fucking spent). I'm so sick of paying vet bills, taking her to the vet, stopping and stalling, scratching from comps, hopping on after a good spell only to have her cough her guts up during a ride so I just get off in tears. Do I want that to be my life for the rest of Allies time on the planet? Can I mentally handle that for years on end? I don't know.

I'm sorry for being a Debbie downer. Allie should have been named Ballymount Rollercoaster.

Scratch

I've scratched from Mudgee. Apparently today is the last day to scratch and get a refund.

Allie is coughing just walking up to me in the paddock to get her feed. I think she needs steroids to finally get over this. I can't expect her to perform in the state she's in now.

I'm a bit devastated but I guess that's horses, huh?

Boo.